Separation and divorce present hard times for both parents and children. As a parent, you have to undergo the emotional hurt of losing someone you were married to. Similarly, children also suffer a lot as they are forced to live without both parents under one roof. Unfortunately, as most partners go through a divorce, they tend to overlook the emotional distress that they submit their kids to during this process. This can negatively affect the children's education, social life, and relationships in the future. That's why you need to take the following measures to protect your kids from distress during a divorce.
Don't badmouth your ex
If your marriage has ended badly due to unfaithfulness, physical abuse, or any form of disagreement with your partner, it is normal to feel hatred and bitterness towards your ex. This may cause you to say unkind things about the ex to your family and friends. However, resist as much as possible to say these things when your kids are around. Even if your marriage didn't work, your kids are entitled to form their opinion of the other parent. So, if your ex-partner didn't treat you well, try to say good things about them to the kids. This will save the children from feeling confused, hurt, or conflicted as to which parent to love.
Address your children's needs
When children are used to having both parents around and doing things together, it can be distressing to have one parent suddenly showing up for everything. For example, if you both used to attend school events and social gatherings together, strive to give this to your kids even after the divorce. Also, don't force them to choose which parent they will approach first about such events as they will end up getting stressed. Create an environment where your kids can talk to you and your ex without feeling like one parent is not stepping up to their role.
Separation and divorce are hard, and sometimes it is okay to admit that you need help. Get as much support as you need from family, friends, and even a professional like a therapist. If you are coping okay with the situation, the chances are that your kids will manage better too. Also, it would be a good idea for you and your partner to sit down with the kids and explain the situation. Assure them that you love them. Let the kids know the changes that will occur so that they can be emotionally at ease when family dynamics change.
Separating from your partner is a hard stage in life. Work with an experienced family lawyer who will walk you through the process and help you take the interests of the kids at heart.Share